three weeks on….

…much has happened but always in the back of my mind, my mum. I suppose  because I would share just about everything with her. Take for example last night: our town has been without a cinema ever since I was a child. About two months ago, mum rang me to say that we were at last getting one. It opened two weeks ago. Oh how she would have loved it! Plush leather sofas and armchairs, a bar and a selection of excellent films. We saw The Young Victoria. Sumptous and terribly romantic, wonderful!

Mum’s funeral took place on the 25th. I had chosen three pieces of music to be played along with two hymns to be sung. All were pieces that mum loved: ‘Sanctus’ and ‘May the Road Rise Up’ by Libera and ‘Blue in Blue’ by Patrick Hawes and all are choral. The acoustics in the church played them at their best. My brother was extraordinarily brave and stood up to talk about our mum in such a touching and moving way.The words he read out at the end moved everyone to tears….I have included them at the end of this post.

It’s actually incredibly hard to put into words what it’s like to lose your mum. She was the anchor to my past. I’ve spent many hours going through the 100’s of photos she’d collected over the years, lots going back to before she was born. I’d seen them many times before but it’s not until now that I’ve really come to value them.  So many questions I’d like to ask about them with no one to ask. I’ll finish this post with three although only one of them is actually old. Hold the mouse over to read what I’ve said about them.

My mum, my brother and I on holiday in Cornwall

Mum helping me in the classroom, she loved to do this.

Last photo of mum and me together at our wedding do last September

You can shed tears that she is gone

Or you can smile because she has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back

Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her

Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember her and only that she is gone

Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back

Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Author: Nikki

Welcome to my blog, first born in March 2006 as an accompaniment to my ibd support website and message board which have been in existence since 2000. I also have a graphics site with a large number of beautiful adoptions.

16 thoughts on “three weeks on….”

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